Chapter Four - Marie Ruth

Beginnings

My bare knees curled up as I gasped for breath. The cold air swirled around my naked body as the snow softly fell outside the dark window. I pulled my knees in closer, bending my head towards my chest as I tried to breathe. A cement block filled me as my head buzzed, my heart beating loudly in my ears. I felt the carpet under my side but in my mind I was on my back with my rapist holding me down.

My first panic attack.

I felt something cold and damp against my fingers. The sharp change in temperature against my skin broke the horror in my mind. I sucked in a deep breath as the cement in my chest eased a bit. Embarrassment flooded my system when I found myself looking into the eyes of the man sitting naked next to me.

I remembered him above me as I was ready to lose my virginity. His naked presence at full attention as gentle kisses turned more insistent. Then the sheer and utter panic froze me as I turned curled into a ball.

My body flushed red.